Becoming a parent is an exciting time, but it can also be utterly overwhelming. It can help to run worries past a non-judgemental experienced person, which is why NCT’s new Postnatal Line has been set up.
The qualified NCT Postnatal Leaders who staff the line are skilled in providing a listening ear as well as support and information on concerns from baby routines to body image after birth. The helpline number is 0300 330 0773, open 9am – 1pm Monday - Friday. Calls are charged at local rates.
NCT Postnatal Leader Juliet Pollard answers a query on sleep routines from one new mum, below:
“I am a new mum, and concerned that my four-month-old isn’t sleeping for long stretches at night. It seems like everyone else’s baby is able to settle themselves, but Harry is very demanding.
“He only sleeps for a couple of hours before waking up crying. I comfort him, but then feel guilty and worry this will make things worse. Am I making a rod for my own back?
“My partner and I are exhausted. It’s affecting our relationship with each other and our son, as we’re too tired to enjoy him during the day.
“What am I doing wrong?”
Yours Sincerely,
Emily Green
Juliet Pollard, NCT Postnatal Leader, says:
“New parents often feel they are getting everything wrong, while everyone else has the right answer.
“At NCT, we think there is no right answer – except to go with your gut feeling once you think you have enough information.
“As with most parenting issues, there are many different opinions on sleep. Some experts say it’s natural to respond to your baby if he wakes in the night, especially for the first six months or so, while others reckon it’s important to develop a routine by a few weeks.
“Young babies have small stomachs and frequent night-waking is therefore a normal part of development for most babies. Feeding him when he feels hungry and helping him cope with discomfort or distress are important ways of showing him he is cared for. This does not mean you are spoiling him, you are simply meeting the basic needs of a new person.
“If you want to encourage your baby to start settling himself, you could try introducing a bedtime ritual such as a bath, changing into sleep clothes, feed, and then singing a song whilst keeping light to a minimum. Over a few weeks a baby usually associates the order of activities with settling for a longer sleep.
“But if you talk to friends who have a routine, they will probably say it just started happening without them doing anything special. Using your mothering instinct to find your own way with your baby is probably the most used strategy; most of us feel like we make it up as we go along.
“Remember, you are not alone. NCT’s recent postnatal care survey of 1,260 first time mums found that emotional support, physical care and information provided to first time mums was sadly lacking leaving many mum feeling abandoned and uncertain."
